11/22/2022 @ 2:12PM

Sometimes, the sky flickers

like a giant TV screen.

a dream:

11/02/20

"I’m watching from a third person POV.

This beautiful Asian girl maybe my age [28y.o at the time] or a little older or younger, really pretty. She dresses Like a girl "on trend" would. She comes across like she was popular in high school and rarely was without a boyfriend.

She’s dreaming. And she’s trying to remember things. Shes crying. She’s got dark brown hair, suddenly  she remembers in real life she has blonde hair and she cries more cuz she forgot it’s a dream and sometimes you forget ur self out there when ur in here. 

She remembers her mom and her grandma. Both of them gambled away their own money as well as the money her dad left her. She resented her mom like most young girls do, but she loathed her grandmother. Her grandmother is the reason her mom was such a fuck up. Her grandmother was ruthless and had no issue lying stealing or fucking for money..

i didn’t “know” a priori. It’s as if i'm watching her reflect on her own life with them. As she reflects, i see what she sees, a smaller version of herself and her mom and grandmother. She thought how she was happy the old woman died and and smiles over her dead body in a memory. 

Somehow it pivots and she’s still in her dream and she gets glimpses of someone, thru their eyes.. And this somewhere in the invisible folds of the empty room before her/his eyes a new world(?) rips open at the seems. Just for a a few seconds. It has a sucking feeling like it’s pulling U in, like what u imagine when an airplane door opens and people start getting sucked out. And she sees in her/his left hand a pen that turns into a paintbrush that turns into a different pen.. 

someone tells her from somewhere else, someplace higher than her, higher than the man she is looking through. Physically higher,  but also like a spiritual “higher” ?  Like, it’s a being or idea on a higher level of existence. It’s definitely ancestral. It doesn't feel like how she feels about her mom and grandmother. It’s not them. I don’t know who it is but it’s “family” 

They tell her this is sacred work they have been given since the beginning of humankind.. or the beginning of conscious beings? i dont know. Just THE beginning, maybe of the new age? I don’t understand the workings of it all. It’s mostly "feelings" I get. I’m watching her, she sees [perceives] as him but I see her still in this empty dream space and I hear the "presence" and it’s coming from above and to the left of the the eyes of the person she is seeing through.

They say that there are twelve of these beings. She sees through another person now.. I think they say (or I "know") this is jrr Tolkien. (I’ve never even read his books lol.) She isn’t him but is Watching him create from behind his eyes. It’s kind of gross,  it’s like the flesh of his face or a mask of him is floating in space and they watch by peering through the empty eye sockets out into his world. I just see a concave face from behind, its invisible if u go in front of it to look at it. U just see her staring thru you into space 

They say that these twelve are all different. Some men some women all from different times/timelines/maybe even dimensions. they think they are all the same person. But it’s all happening concurrently, “now”.

she(and i) live in a dimension that is organized linearly through time. So we just imagine this separateness ? (the way they express it or how  i intuit it makes it seem like they don’t even know it all. They just know their collective experience ? They are not the oversoul or the one who sees it all from above. 

It’s her job to find the one in the time she is living. Maybe Tolkien was the “last” one?  Maybe her grandma found him ? I dont know maybe it’s not her actual family but it’s a soul lineage or soul ancestry. When I think this & as I write this that feels true. It’s not her blood line. 

she needs to find the person who is the next “one”. Idk what it means literally but I think these people they find or go thru are creators (of worlds imaginary or real) or “visionaries.”

That’s all I can remember.

At one point she is seeing through the one in her present 3D timeline. And it feels masculine.”